Alcohol Isn’t the Only Way to Bond at Work. Try These 3 Healthy Alternatives Instead.

“Shots, shots, shots! Come on, you can do a shot,” my former boss said, shouting at me at the makeshift bar. It was our quarterly offsite, and my boss wouldn’t take no for an answer. He had begun pressuring me and mocking me in front of the rest of the team. I felt like I was at a college frat party. I finally relented. I did the tequila shot. And for the remainder of my time working for this boss, I walked around team outings and happy hours and off-sites with a “vodka tonic.” I kept pretending to drink with a glass full of ice, filled with club soda and lime wedges, just so he would leave me alone.

And I am not the only one who feels this way. Apparently, 33% of employees don’t want to drink at work events. And like me, 15% of employees felt obligated to drink, so they grabbed a glass of wine, a beer or maybe even a shot. Being pressured to drink may create negative social energy, because not everyone drinks. Not everyone feels comfortable drinking with their boss. Employees may decide to disengage or skip out on happy hours and team bonding events centered around alcohol altogether.

Alcohol shouldn’t be the only way we form connections at work. Start with these three ways to build better bonds with each other at work, that doesn’t include a shot of tequila or a glass of chardonnay.

1. Well-being hours are the new happy hour

According to research from Wellhub, a corporate wellness platform, “wellness hour” is the new happy hour. In fact, Tuesdays at 6 p.m. is the peak time for wellness across the globe, replacing the happy hour. Employees are more and more focused on nutrition, healthy habits, mental well-being and fitness.

“For a long time, team bonding meant happy hour,” says Cesar Carvalho, CEO and co-founder of Wellhub.  “I think that’s changing, and it should. Movement and recovery aren’t a break from the workday anymore. They’re what makes the rest of the day actually work.” 

Instead of bonding over a glass of wine, do a spin class together, go for a run or try a yoga class. If you are traveling as a team and in a new city, consider a walking tour together to explore new neighborhoods. You can also make walking meetings part of your team’s traditions and step away from the keyboard. You can bond over physical activity rather than hanging out at an overcrowded bar.

2. Book clubs are making a comeback

I was pleasantly surprised to discover that a number of companies have started business book clubs, and my recent book was included: The Devil Emails at Midnight: What Good Leaders Can Learn From Bad Bosses. These were self-organized efforts, where employees reached out to let me know they were reading my book as a team, sending pictures and, in some cases, a summary of what they discussed.

According to Eventbrite, book club events have grown 31% from recent data from the platform. Book clubs are transforming social scenes, helping build friendships and connections in a time when people are seeking more community. Book clubs can help teach us new skills and also transform our connections at work too.

“Leaders continue to struggle with how to keep employees engaged and how to help employees learn and stay curious,” says Tracy Avin, Founder, TroopHR, a premier community for modern HR leaders to grow together. “Reading books together gives people something meaningful to bond over. Instead of asking, ‘What are we drinking?’ we’re asking, ‘What are we thinking about?’ That shift can create deeper conversations, stronger connections and a culture where people keep learning from one another long after the book club gathering is over.”

3. Make an impact together 

Volunteer together. In the past, I have organized volunteer days with Dress for Success, Habitat for Humanity, Big Brothers Big Sisters of America and Meals on Wheels America. You can also research and contact a food pantry, community garden or an animal shelter to build deeper connections locally. If you build a relationship with an organization, this doesn’t have to be a one-off. You can show up as a team once every quarter to make an impact and create stronger team connections. 

I find that when I volunteer with my team, we are working toward something bigger than OKRs or annual goals. We spend time together, learn a new skill and watch how we can collectively make an impact. We also discover new things about each other. This can be far more meaningful than being pressured into doing tequila shots together.

We don’t have to drink together to bond at work. Some of us enjoy a glass of chardonnay, while others would prefer to just stick to a club soda. We need reasons to talk, laugh, celebrate and spend time together that don’t depend on what’s in our glasses. The best workplace cultures I have been part of don’t rely on the happy hour. They are built around how we meaningfully connect.

“Shots, shots, shots! Come on, you can do a shot,” my former boss said, shouting at me at the makeshift bar. It was our quarterly offsite, and my boss wouldn’t take no for an answer. He had begun pressuring me and mocking me in front of the rest of the team. I felt like I was at a college frat party. I finally relented. I did the tequila shot. And for the remainder of my time working for this boss, I walked around team outings and happy hours and off-sites with a “vodka tonic.” I kept pretending to drink with a glass full of ice, filled with club soda and lime wedges, just so he would leave me alone.

And I am not the only one who feels this way. Apparently, 33% of employees don’t want to drink at work events. And like me, 15% of employees felt obligated to drink, so they grabbed a glass of wine, a beer or maybe even a shot. Being pressured to drink may create negative social energy, because not everyone drinks. Not everyone feels comfortable drinking with their boss. Employees may decide to disengage or skip out on happy hours and team bonding events centered around alcohol altogether.

Alcohol shouldn’t be the only way we form connections at work. Start with these three ways to build better bonds with each other at work, that doesn’t include a shot of tequila or a glass of chardonnay.